Every day I tell myself I am going to write an article or a blog entry and I never do. Now I am here at my computer, and my mind is blank. How did Ernest Hemingway just sit and write? How did he train himself to block everything out and just. Write. He wrote until it was done. It must have been an obsession.

Modern Obsessions

That is the problem isn’t it? Every thing today is meant to make people externally obsessed; television shows, movies, video games, my goodness media is getting to where the story never ends, television series go on for decades.

Instant Gratification

We don’t need to have a passion for anything that actually takes time to do. It is all about instant gratification. Why should I learn to play guitar when I can watch Supernatural for 30 years, nonstop, every hour of every day?

Seeking Inner Thoughts and Identity

How do I stop being so distracted by the deluge of content that surrounds me? Where are my inner thoughts? Where is my identity? Actually, now that I think about it, what even is my identity? Does it lie within what my passions are, or does my identity lie within my actions every day? I tend to think it is the latter.

If that is the case, my identity is a middle aged, overweight woman working in software who just sleeps all the time.

Questioning Life and Passion

I know what I do, but what do I want to do? Who do I want to be? And even more important:

How do I get there?

That question right there is why most people who have passion stop dead in their tracks, swivel on their heels, and run back the other way.

You know how I know this?

Because that is what makes me want to run away too. Getting in shape, learning guitar and getting better at singing, starting a podcast, all of these things I want to do take time, and patience, and above all it takes failure.

Failure is the biggest fear of so many people, including myself. The fear of failure is what holds me back from achieving things I see so clearly in my head.

Taking Action vs. Imagining Success

It is so easy to imagine myself doing these things, and absolutely rocking them all, but when it comes to taking action… I don’t. And you don’t. We just don’t do it. Holy Osiris, how can I change this?

Inner Monologue

This outpouring of my inner monologue is exhausting, but somehow seeing it and getting it out in the open is relieving. I am not sure why, but it is. Maybe I hope someone will read this and know what the hell I am talking about.

I can imagine that everyone on the planet wants to do or be something they are not currently, and everyone has that ache to do something amazing.

Caring for others… to my detriment

I tend to not take care of myself, but when it comes to other people I bend over backwards. Maybe I should do amazing things for all of the people that can’t or are too scared to even try. We all just want to make a difference, eh?

I have passions, but I don’t have a passion for my passions… that is kind of amusing if it weren’t so sad.

Passion for Writing

Writing is one of my passions, and I started writing this about how hard it is for me to write. Looks like I wrote something… hmm interesting.

Until next time, lovelies.

❤ ML